yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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