Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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