I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
now i know why i became what i already was.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Randomize
