Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
They should really pass out barf bags in church
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
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