This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
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