Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
Randomize
