I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
Randomize
