I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
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