just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Randomize
