well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
