My hair reeks of homosexuality.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
