I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
either way he was missing a nipple.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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