Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
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