he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Randomize
