Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Randomize
