a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
