u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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