I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
