How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
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