Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
Randomize
