Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Randomize
