i think my tv is drunk
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Randomize
