I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
