Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
