she sounds like chewbacca in bed
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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