all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Randomize
