Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Dignity is for republicans.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Randomize
