My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
