I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Randomize
