If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
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