if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Randomize
