You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
Randomize
