New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Randomize
