Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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