So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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