You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Randomize
