He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Randomize
