my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
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