So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
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