Can Purell be used as lube?
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
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