im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
