ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Randomize
