My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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