I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
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