Me. At least after what I've been through.
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize