Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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