I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
