It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
porn star boner night. come get it.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
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