North Korea, Best Korea!
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
