Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
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