my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
