He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
