i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
He? As in you personified your dick?
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
