ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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