I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize