You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
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