She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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