I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize
