Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
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