I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
