we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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